Breaking News

From: Garrett Maher <maher.garrett@gmail.com>
To: Mom-Mom <mmteeple@verizon.net>
Date: Feb 19, 2012 7:11 AM
Subject: Breaking News

Dear Mom-Mom, 

I woke up this morning to find our house was the scene of an unpalatable crime. It appears one of the boys found themselves with an insatiable appetite last night and thought my converse sneaker would make the perfect snack. The guilty culprit has yet to be positively identified and charged. Rigby has been caught in the act with a block in his mouth on numerous occasions. Contrary to popular opinion, I suspect the real suspect may be Paddington. Apparently he’s been known to chew a shoe or two and his track record leaves a lot to be desired.

Vote here if you think sole (fish) would have been a better snack selection than my shoe sole...

Earning My Keep {Vol. 2}

From: Garrett Maher <maher.garrett@gmail.com>
To: Mom-Mom <mmteeple@verizon.net>
Date: Feb 17, 2012 2:39 PM
Subject: Earning My Keep {Vol. 2} 

Hi Mom-Mom,
To say I'm obsessed with chash is an understatement. My beloved chash! I love throwing you away! I love spotting your cans on my walks. I love replacing your lid over and over and over again. I can hardly bear to leave you at the end of the driveway every Monday night. Thanks for providing me with hours of entertainment. Forever yours, Garrett

Valentine Needed

From: Garrett Maher <maher.garrett@gmail.com>
To: Mom-Mom <mmteeple@verizon.net>
Date: Feb 14, 2012 5:49 AM
Subject: Valentine Needed

Hi Mom-Mom,
I posted this ad on toddlerslist.com. No response yet but I'm hopeful.

ENERGETIC, TENACIOUS TODDLER seeks likeminded vivacious valentine.  Must be passionate about food. No exceptions. Must love music, rocks and balls, playing outside, cars, strollers and special blankees. Unfriendly, inattentive candidates need not apply. Dog wrestlers preferred. 

Will you be my valentine?

House Guests

From: Garrett Maher <maher.garrett@gmail.com>
To: Mom-Mom <mmteeple@verizon.net>
Date: Feb 12, 2012 3:27 PM
Subject: House Guests

Hi Mom-Mom,

Grammy and Grand Pop moved some stuff in this weekend. Their stuff is still here and so are they! From what I can tell, they are here to stay which is A-ok with me! You know what that means, right? The proportion of adults eating at any given time has doubled! All the more food to share with me!

Vote here if you're a fan of extended visits!

The Shattered Jar

From: Garrett Maher <maher.garrett@gmail.com>
To: Mom-Mom <mmteeple@verizon.net>
Date: Feb 7, 2012 4:15 PM
Subject: The Shattered Jar

Hi Mom-Mom,

This is why we will no longer keep my car collection in a glass jar. Mama says in hindsight I should have never been allowed to handle the jar myself. Don’t worry people… I made it out of this predicament alive and completely unscathed, as did the dogs.

Click here if you're not a fan of close calls...

My Pink Stroller

From: Garrett Maher <maher.garrett@gmail.com>
To: Mom-Mom <mmteeple@verizon.net>
Date: Feb 6, 2012 2:44 PM
Subject: My Pink Stroller

Hi Mom-Mom,

Aunt Jo got me a pink stroller for Christmas. I love it! It comes in handy for pushing around my balls and cars. It comes in handy for chasing the dogs too.

Can you spare a vote for two very patient dogs?

The Mueller Food Gene

From: Garrett Maher <maher.garrett@gmail.com>
To: Mom-Mom <mmteeple@verizon.net>
Date: Feb 2, 2012 8:41 AM
Subject: The Mueller Food Gene

Hi Mom-Mom,

I have inherited the Mueller food gene. We Mueller’s like to eat. We take our food very seriously. In the interest of public safety, we carry food on our persons at all times. Lord help the poor souls who cross us on an empty stomach! We find great comfort in knowing what and when we’re eating next. Eating is so exciting, it’s sometimes hard to contain ourselves!

Click here if you're a foodie too...